It Takes A Community...

I've known it for a while now, but after 2 trips to the park yesterday I cannot deny that I am THAT mother. Yep. I am the one who will tell your kid to get off the top of the playground equipment (and the skate park fence), make them apologize to the kid they just slapped, tell them to quit throwing sand in someone's face, walk them through how to fairly take turns and explain to them why playing "stab wound" is inappropriate.

Okay, so lets begin by saying that my kids aren't perfect. Neither am I. The difference in my imperfect kids and my imperfect parenting style and the imperfectionist styles of many parents and kids I come across is this: I don't overlook destructive, harmful or just plain asinine behavior. I don't overlook it in my kids, and one day you just might thank me for not overlooking it in yours.

Let's be honest... To say that kids learn everything at home is just ignorant. Case in point? Katy asked me yesterday is there a song called "Funked Up Kicks". I said I have no idea but it wouldn't suprise me... she then goes on to say it says something about all the kids in funked up kicks better run faster than my bullet. WOAH. Hold up. My kids can't listen to that crap... at home. See? Now here's what I did. I broke it down. I asked her what this part means and what that part means and to put it together as to what this 'artist' (I use the term loosely) means by saying that. Oh... See... Now that she's thinkin' about it... She's clearly disgusted. (Preteens can't hide their immediate emotions and mine is a worse actress than most.)

Anyway. This actually isn't about MY family. It's about everyone's family. The fact of the matter is that we ALL share this world. We all live in the same existance and eventually your kid and my kid may cross paths. Sadly, I don't want my kids having to deal with some of the stuff you teach your kid is okay, because it's not. But they do. Every day.

You may find it harmless to give your kid a toy gun and allow them to "shoot" their friends execution style. I don't. You may find it perfectly acceptable to teach your kids that they can take what they want from who they want because, after all, it's like that in life. I don't. You may assume that kids will be kids and that your kid can say whatever he wants to whoever he wants - profanity, vulgarity, rudeness, meanness, disrespect and the like included - as long as he doesn't embarrass you in front of your boss or your preacher. But rest assured that if I hear them, I WILL call them out. I will not tolerate such things in a community where they are influencing other children... or even just where I have to hear it. I don't expect a sunny, conflict free, we're all winners world, but I do think common decency sometimes gets lost in translation.

I was brought up in a time where the community help raise the children. I knew if I did something I wasn't supposed to, someone WOULD correct me. I took that lesson, and I apply it to my every day life. Don't get me wrong, I do it in love. Love for you, love for your kids, love for my own kids and love for other children nearby. A lot of the parents I know will do the same thing... because they believe that kids need boundaries, too. And sometimes, I get onto the kids of the parents I know would disapprove of the behavior I'm correcting. Sometimes it's other parents getting onto MY kids. Turnabout is fair play... and I WANT you to tell my kids when they're in the wrong. HELP ME teach them right from wrong!

It isn't always that the parent is at fault... (sometimes it is, okay... but it isn't ALWAYS) so we shouldn't automatically say "mmm. Their mama must just not care..." or things in that realm... We should step out and be part of the solution for ill behaved minions. That whole saying about 'no bad kids, just bad parents'? No. Perhaps their parents aren't the best at EVERYTHING, but if a child is held accountable at all, that is better than just sitting on the sidelines blaming the parent for the behavior you overlook and gossip about. If you can blow hot air of disgust about a kid in the store or the park or at the ballfield then you can redirect your intentions and offer kind, stern correction and suggestion for something appropriate in exchange.

Avoidance is acceptance and I refuse to accept growing these behaviors into adulthood. We need to stick together to help each other raise our children. Don't let my kids get away with blatant misbehavior and I won't let yours. Deal?